Healthy Expression of Attraction

      So unfortunately I slipped up yesterday by looking at that bad stuff on the internet. Fortunately this happens less and less often. I'm down to like one slip up a month now, sometimes every other month. But I was thinking how it is that this comes about. And it is when I am feeling more than normally the desire to be with a man. So I look at pictures that are not wrong at all. Just two men embracing or kissing. the problem is when I do that for to long I look on the Internet for more such pictures to feed that desire and then come across something that's more than just an embrace or kissing which leads me to the bad stuff and then I don't pull out when I know I should.

   But I was thinking that this might all be avoided if I had a healthy outlet for those desires. Like a boyfriend. Or just being able to be open about my feelings with those around me. And I think it would be even less likely to happen if there were some good gay romance films out there. So much of the gay films are just all about sex, and or they are poorly done.

       I have yet to see a really good gay romance movie. It needs to be just like the other chick flicks just with two gay men rather than a man and a woman.

       I think when you repress something it will just resurface even stronger than before. Or to a lesser degree than repressing by just not healthily expressing that attraction can have a similar effect.

      My best friend told me about this friend of hers from work who is gay. He is blond fit and not so obviously gay which is so my type.

      She showed him a picture of me and he thought I was really cute, so I am hoping we can go on a date, it would be the first time I have ever dated a guy and the prospect makes me all bubbly inside. I believe that it would truly be a healthy expression of my attraction to men, and help me stay away from pornography.